Wednesday, January 9, 2008

It was a hard week's night

Last week was a difficult one for me personally and I think for a lot of my friends, people in my community and Jews in general. I will not dwell on the obvious reasons for sadness in my community; my previous posts explain it all and at the same time only barely touch the surface of sadness and the feeling of tremendous loss. This post deals only with my experiences and feelings.

So here's my week in review. My great-aunt's husband passed away on Thursday, my grandmother was hospitalized with - guess what? - her first vertigo on Saturday, Rabbi Berenbaum passed away on Sunday, and on Monday I found out about Mrs. Dimarsky. This loss was the hardest to bear, still is. It was more personal. It was unexpected. It didn't seem right or fair. It raised a lot of questions, some more appropriate than others: why her? why now? what's next? what can I do? how can I help?

Right before I found out about Rabbi Berenbaum's death, I had completed a funny post. It didn't seem appropriate to post it then. It still doesn't seem appropriate to post it. It will have to stay in the draft form a bit longer. I was thinking of writing something about Sherry, but couldn't find the right words. For the first time in a very long time I don't want to be funny. Right now I just want to be sad, to ponder on the questions in my head, to think of the things that I can do to honor the memories of Rabbi Berenbaum and Sherry Dimarsky. And maybe reflect on why my week was surrounded by three deaths. Is this a message? A wake-up call? Or a simple reminder that I don't have all the time in the world?

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