It's Fashion Week in NY. Did you know? I only found out this Thursday under peculiar circumstances...
My closet ate two of my skirts and countless number of tops. It's true and it can happen to you if you are not vigilant and stuff your closet with everything: from bags of old clothes prepared but never quite given to donations to ill fitting shoes you are not ready to part with to confiscated toys. Somewhere in between the bag of unmatched children's socks and an old pillow are my missing clothes. But to find them, I would need to organize my closet, so for now I am doing without.
The absence of skirts coupled with the fact that quite a few of my other skirts have salt and snot stains on them - winter, I know you are here! - resulted in having nothing to wear one fine Thursday morning. Frantically going through every piece of clothing I own and rejecting them one by one - snot, too small, too summery, too dressy, salt, snot, yogurt, snot, too small, wore just yesterday, damn it, I should've left 5 minutes ago!!!!- I finally came to a piece that resulted in a "maybe". It was kind of summery, somewhat ill-fitting (yes, I gained weight like I do every winter
Despite my unseasonal garb, the entire day went just fine. Going back to work, the subway was overflowing with people, but I don't think that it's fair to blame my jumper for it. As I squeezed myself between two people who insisted on standing close to the doorways, I came standing right in front of a seated guy about my age. "Asian," I thought, so I figured that I had about 50% chance of getting his seat at Delancey, only three stations away. Yes, racial profiling in NY subway system is so rampant, it's appalling. As I was shamelessly calculating my chances to get his seat, our eyes met and he uttered the unicorn of subway phrases, only few of the riders claim to have heard and scientifically proven to be non-existent. "Would you like a seat?"
I was caught a bit off-guard. I was not pregnant - did he know something I didn't? - or sick or elderly. But then my instincts kicked in and I said, "Sure! You are being awfully nice. Thank you." "He must be getting off next stop," I told myself. He did not. I stubbornly pushed away the obvious. "He must be a REALLY nice guy," I thought. We passed Delancey, and my benefactor was still standing only a few inches away from me. I looked at my jumper, my protruding stomach and remembered slightly greenish tint on my face from watching Interny till wee hours the night before; all the dots connected and I could no longer deny it. "The nice SOB thinks I'm pregnant." As this thought entered my mind, I glanced to the left and saw my neighbor studying pictures from the Fashion Week shows. "Is it Fashion Week? Again? (Sigh.) I am so out of vogue. (Deep sigh.) I bet this fashionista would never wear a jumper that made her look pregnant, " I sulked.
And then another thought entered my mind. "Too bad for her." I got a seat in an over-crowded subway car. Half of those well dressed fashionable women were getting killed by their high heels and poked in the ribs by neighbors' elbows. And frumpy and pregnant looking me was comfortably sitting. Right then and there I made a decision to upgrade the jumper to an all-season regular. With that thought I peacefully drifted off to dream about fashion, jumpers and Interny.