17. You start strength training just to be able to carry your purse around.
16. You need a shoulder replacement surgery any way.
15. You are no longer able to take subway for fear of being searched by cops at the entrance.
14. You found stamps which you used to mail out your wedding invitations right after celebrating your 5-year anniversary.
13. The other day you found your weekly grocery receipt containing 30 odd items that totals only $75. That must be circa 2003.
12. Retrieving anything from your purse takes more time than you would admit in public.
11. You ask someone to call you every time you need to find your cell phone.
10. You are so tired of looking for stuff in your purse, that you start carrying cash and credit cards in your bulging pockets.
9. Your biggest fear in life is to lose your purse, but not because of lost cash or credit cards (those are in your pockets, remember?), but simply because you just don’t know what kind of treasure could be buried there.
8. Both your husband and your kids have mistaken it for a trash can. You would never admit it, but so have you.
7. The new black hole located by astronomers has two handles and contains all kind of stuff with your name and social security number on it.
6. Your purse needs its own exterminator.
5. You have to put “toxic” label on your purse to abide by the state health regulations.
4. If stranded on a desert island, you could live out of your purse for two weeks without lacking entertainment, nourishment, your beauty regimen or clean underwear.
3. Purging it would require several pairs of rubber gloves, a mask, Epsom salts, 3 week of intensive mental training, taking off 2 days from work - one for cleaning, another one to recuperate from physical exhaustion and years of therapy afterwards.
2. When something is lost in the house, it is automatically assumed to be in your purse.
1. It usually is there.