9. When asked why he goes there so often, your husband replies, "Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name..."
8. You got an electric drill for your birthday, partially because the first two SubFamily's drills were getting lonely and needed a sibling. Or so he said.
7. A full year after your Lake George vacation,
6. You have seriously discussed the possibility of direct depositing your paycheck to Home Depot's bank account.
5. Your children, ages 4 and 3, know all the tool names. You and any other normal human being refer to those as "thingy", штучка, загогулинка or simply хрень.
4. When you need to unwind, your husband enthusiastically offers to drive you to Home Depot and genuinely does not understand why this does not appeal to you.
3. Your husband has lobbied your Congressman to add a certain plainer to an Endangered Tools List.
2. You have made a video of Home Depot isles. Upon showing it to him, your husband chokes up, throws himself at you and mumbles through manly tears that you have "never made him happier" and "you finally understand". Your husband then watches the aforementioned video over and over again for relaxation and meditation all the while wiping the aforementioned manly tears. You don't know how to respond because a) it was a gag gift, b) you bore this man three children and would hope that at least one of them made him happier, and c) frankly, you do NOT understand.
1. You overheard him muttering under his breath, "My name is SubHub and I am a Home Depot addict..."