Sunday, June 21, 2009

10 Signs your husband is addicted to Home Depot

10. Your husband makes at least 4 trips a week to Home Depot, and he's not a contractor.

x 4

9. When asked why he goes there so often, your husband replies, "Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name..."

8. You got an electric drill for your birthday, partially because the first two SubFamily's drills were getting lonely and needed a sibling. Or so he said.

7. A full year after your Lake George vacation, SubHub your husband is still morning and kicking himself for not visiting the local Home Depot. Sometimes he contemplates the four-hour one way drive just to see the one that got away.

6. You have seriously discussed the possibility of direct depositing your paycheck to Home Depot's bank account.

5. Your children, ages 4 and 3, know all the tool names. You and any other normal human being refer to those as "thingy", штучка, загогулинка or simply хрень.

4. When you need to unwind, your husband enthusiastically offers to drive you to Home Depot and genuinely does not understand why this does not appeal to you.

So ***not*** you.

3. Your husband has lobbied your Congressman to add a certain plainer to an Endangered Tools List.

2. You have made a video of Home Depot isles. Upon showing it to him, your husband chokes up, throws himself at you and mumbles through manly tears that you have "never made him happier" and "you finally understand". Your husband then watches the aforementioned video over and over again for relaxation and meditation all the while wiping the aforementioned manly tears. You don't know how to respond because a) it was a gag gift, b) you bore this man three children and would hope that at least one of them made him happier, and c) frankly, you do NOT understand.

1. You overheard him muttering under his breath, "My name is SubHub and I am a Home Depot addict..."

Oops, you just outed them...


  1. All 3 are regular drills? No hammer drill? How many volts?

  2. 18 volts, of course. yes, they are all regular drills. He needed two to work with simultaneously (don't ask my why), and the third one was bought to keep the other two company.

  3. Only 18? 24! More power!

    Duh, changing bits is annoying.

  4. It's not only the number of watts, it how you use them.

  5. It's the rotary hammer that counts.

  6. Is he at least fixing your house up all nice and pretty?

  7. This drill needs MORE POWER!
    We will give it more power by connecting it to this electric generator! hur hur hur.

  8. SR,

    Yes he does fix it up. unfortunately, it is not ours :( and it's not a house, but an apartment.

  9. I have to admit, my shed is full of junk from home depot. its a grown ups toy store !


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