Every breath you take

Wowie wow wow! It has been almost three weeks since my last post! Wow! Time flies!

Well, this one will be short.


My obsession with home early pregnancy tests (EPT) had reared its ugly head once again, which prompted SubHub to utter one of his funniest lines ever. (Actually there were two lines, but I don't remember the first one exactly because the second one was soooo good.) He looked over my new super-multi-mega-pack-SubWife special edition EPT purchase and uttered, "Every time you pee, it costs us five dollars."

Little did he know that it's $5 on sale and including super-multi-mega pack discount...

(The first line - I think - went something like, "You know, you don't need a pregnancy test to pee, you can go straight into the toilet?"

So I declare this line to be the quote of the month! (or with the say my posting goes, it might end up the quote of the decade.)

Do you remember?

Our company instituted the new email retention policy, and now everything over 18 months old is automatically transferred into the "trash" folder and thereafter permanently erased in 30 days. Anything that we want saved must be either printed or saved elsewhere. So now every week or so I peruse the "trash" folder just to make sure there's nothing that needs saving.

Last week I found an old emailed sent by yours truly to her co-worker. It said, "Why am I not a lesbian? Why??? Why????" I wonder what precipitated this, but most likely I don't really want to remember. Ahh, memories that I don't have.

10 Signs your husband is addicted to Home Depot

10. Your husband makes at least 4 trips a week to Home Depot, and he's not a contractor.

x 4

9. When asked why he goes there so often, your husband replies, "Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name..."



8. You got an electric drill for your birthday, partially because the first two SubFamily's drills were getting lonely and needed a sibling. Or so he said.



7. A full year after your Lake George vacation, SubHub your husband is still morning and kicking himself for not visiting the local Home Depot. Sometimes he contemplates the four-hour one way drive just to see the one that got away.

6. You have seriously discussed the possibility of direct depositing your paycheck to Home Depot's bank account.

5. Your children, ages 4 and 3, know all the tool names. You and any other normal human being refer to those as "thingy", штучка, загогулинка or simply хрень.

4. When you need to unwind, your husband enthusiastically offers to drive you to Home Depot and genuinely does not understand why this does not appeal to you.

So ***not*** you.

3. Your husband has lobbied your Congressman to add a certain plainer to an Endangered Tools List.

2. You have made a video of Home Depot isles. Upon showing it to him, your husband chokes up, throws himself at you and mumbles through manly tears that you have "never made him happier" and "you finally understand". Your husband then watches the aforementioned video over and over again for relaxation and meditation all the while wiping the aforementioned manly tears. You don't know how to respond because a) it was a gag gift, b) you bore this man three children and would hope that at least one of them made him happier, and c) frankly, you do NOT understand.



1. You overheard him muttering under his breath, "My name is SubHub and I am a Home Depot addict..."

Oops, you just outed them...

SubFamily has got talent

Ok, so this is a shameless attempt to make money off of my spouse and use blogger to advertise. If you feel used, please accept my half hearted and insincere heartfelt apologies. So there...

I have made several remarks about SubHub being a man of many talents. Currently we are trying to capitalize on one of them. Truth is we have been capitalizing on it for a few years, but now we are looking to do it on a larger scale. One of SubHub's hobbies is carving wood in a special way. He doesn't make wooden figurines, but rather designs on a wooden plane. He also builds things from wood, like shelving units. But carving is really his hobby and even passion. So right now he is making custom made shtenders aka as standers. If anyone is interested or knows someone who could be interested, please let me know. (My email is subjugatedwife@gmail.com) They are truly one of a kind and would make a nice special gift. Below is just an example of one of his creations. Keep in mind that my photographic skills are kind of poor. I can't find pictures of other things he had done previously, but will try to find for future posts.






Thank you in advance.