Monday, October 22, 2007

Dumbledore is gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Rumors, speculations and tabloid articles surrounded Dumbledore his entire life, the biggest of them, of course, about his sexual orientation. Last Friday all these rumors were put to rest by J.K. Rowling, the woman behind the Harry Potter book series, when she publicly admitted that Dumbledore actually was gay. The move, long expected by Wizarding sexual minorities during Dumbledore’s life, was met with mixed feelings. Gay and Lesbian Association of the Wizarding World issued a statement condemning J.K. Rowling’s last statements. They spoke to us through their attorney, the famous Wizard Rights Lawyer Hermione Granger-Weasley, explaining their stand on this issue. “We at GALAWW don’t care who she is, but J.K. had not right to do this. Coming out is a very personal experience, and no one should be outed without his consent, the way Dumbledore was. We demand an apology!” Some say that consent was not needed since Dumbledore had been gone for some time now. “Not so,” says Granger-Weasley. “Dumbledore continues existing on some level in his portraits. He’s still capable of feeling full range of human emotions. He should have been asked, or better yet permitted to come out on his own terms.”

Some in the Wizarding community have welcomed the news, some are still in denial. Fleur Weasley, who thought she knew Dumbledore well, says, “Eet finally all makes sense. Eet explains Dumbledore’z obsession with Snape. Eet also explainz why neither one of them had a steady girlfriend or made a pass on me.” Indeed, few bought the story of Snape’s undying love of Lily Potter, and many suspected it was a cover for another affair, possibly with one of the Black sisters. Few were prepared for the truth. “Dumbledore and Snape’s relationship was not something I would describe as a “true love”, and at time Severus felt stifled, even trapped, but they were committed and loyal to each other until the very end,” says the portrait of yet another former headmaster of Hogwarts, Phineas Nigellus Black. Rita Skeeter, in her recently published biography of the great headmaster, has noticed the pattern even before the above facts had come to light. See page 509, “If you follow Dumbledore’s history as a headmaster, you can see that he preferred dealing primarily with boys. No girl was ever discriminated, but look at the list of his favorites – James and Harry Potters, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, need I go on? I don’t want to dirty his good name, but has Dumbledore ever taken a special interest in a female student, even the most talented one? Of course not.”

A source close to Dumbledore’s portrait has agreed to speak to us on condition of complete anonymity. “Dumbledore feels betrayed, even violated. J.K. was the only one who knew the truth, and Albus thought his secret was safe with her. Muggles are already preoccupied with the technical details of Wizard sex, and now these statements will just throw grease on fire. Her timing couldn’t have been worse.”

So what does Ms. Granger-Weasley have to say to J.K.? “Jo Rowling has turned into the over-protective mother who is sure she always knows best. The books are completed, Jo, let us Wizards have our own lives, let us make our own decisions, learn to let go! Write another book, for goodness sake!” Some say J.K. should apologize, but will she? “Not likely,” says Granger-Weasley. “We haven’t found a way for Muggles to communicate with the portraits yet, so I think personal apology is not coming Dumbledore’s way any time soon.”

9 comments:

  1. Love your posts, but this one is brilliant!

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  2. Thank you for leaving the comment! It is nice to know that someone actually reads this stuff, and I am not just typing away into the void. I am flattered, anyway. Thanks! Please come back.

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  3. And what IS wrong with typing away into the void!?

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  4. Abosolutely nothing. Just as it is not wrong to want someone to actually read what you are typing.

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  5. I must confess that on more than one occasion (and even more often than not) I read the comments on the post before I read the whole post. I find it works well with my attention span.
    I've read both yours and moish's posts regarding the topic and I have two things to say: 1- this post is very witty! 2 - In this day and age, why so much time and attention is wasted on identifying and discussing sexual orientation of muggles OR wizards ?!

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  6. Sally, i think your question should be referred to CNN and others. As far as I understood the Wife's post she was mocking that very sentiment, and my post was all about my person perversion :)

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  7. True, but it's easier to pose the question to Swife and hope she'll answer for CNN... ( and it seems like she wrote something today. Will try to read as a bedtime story).

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  8. yep, the new post addresses your questions. I haven't considered answering from CNN's perspective, but it seems like a good idea. Ok, something to do on the train...

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