Dumbledore is gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Rumors, speculations and tabloid articles surrounded Dumbledore his entire life, the biggest of them, of course, about his sexual orientation. Last Friday all these rumors were put to rest by J.K. Rowling, the woman behind the Harry Potter book series, when she publicly admitted that Dumbledore actually was gay. The move, long expected by Wizarding sexual minorities during Dumbledore’s life, was met with mixed feelings. Gay and Lesbian Association of the Wizarding World issued a statement condemning J.K. Rowling’s last statements. They spoke to us through their attorney, the famous Wizard Rights Lawyer Hermione Granger-Weasley, explaining their stand on this issue. “We at GALAWW don’t care who she is, but J.K. had not right to do this. Coming out is a very personal experience, and no one should be outed without his consent, the way Dumbledore was. We demand an apology!” Some say that consent was not needed since Dumbledore had been gone for some time now. “Not so,” says Granger-Weasley. “Dumbledore continues existing on some level in his portraits. He’s still capable of feeling full range of human emotions. He should have been asked, or better yet permitted to come out on his own terms.”

Some in the Wizarding community have welcomed the news, some are still in denial. Fleur Weasley, who thought she knew Dumbledore well, says, “Eet finally all makes sense. Eet explains Dumbledore’z obsession with Snape. Eet also explainz why neither one of them had a steady girlfriend or made a pass on me.” Indeed, few bought the story of Snape’s undying love of Lily Potter, and many suspected it was a cover for another affair, possibly with one of the Black sisters. Few were prepared for the truth. “Dumbledore and Snape’s relationship was not something I would describe as a “true love”, and at time Severus felt stifled, even trapped, but they were committed and loyal to each other until the very end,” says the portrait of yet another former headmaster of Hogwarts, Phineas Nigellus Black. Rita Skeeter, in her recently published biography of the great headmaster, has noticed the pattern even before the above facts had come to light. See page 509, “If you follow Dumbledore’s history as a headmaster, you can see that he preferred dealing primarily with boys. No girl was ever discriminated, but look at the list of his favorites – James and Harry Potters, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, need I go on? I don’t want to dirty his good name, but has Dumbledore ever taken a special interest in a female student, even the most talented one? Of course not.”

A source close to Dumbledore’s portrait has agreed to speak to us on condition of complete anonymity. “Dumbledore feels betrayed, even violated. J.K. was the only one who knew the truth, and Albus thought his secret was safe with her. Muggles are already preoccupied with the technical details of Wizard sex, and now these statements will just throw grease on fire. Her timing couldn’t have been worse.”

So what does Ms. Granger-Weasley have to say to J.K.? “Jo Rowling has turned into the over-protective mother who is sure she always knows best. The books are completed, Jo, let us Wizards have our own lives, let us make our own decisions, learn to let go! Write another book, for goodness sake!” Some say J.K. should apologize, but will she? “Not likely,” says Granger-Weasley. “We haven’t found a way for Muggles to communicate with the portraits yet, so I think personal apology is not coming Dumbledore’s way any time soon.”