Why is it that every time I have a good, positive, grateful thought, especially about my marriage, I am being tested within 24 hours of this thought??? This past Sunday I thought, “Wow, I am so lucky to have a husband like mine. He is so nice and thoughtful and a big helper around the house.” Guess what? We had a huge fight the following day, pretty much over nothing, and that “nice and thoughtful” hubby was let's just say not as nice and not quite thoughtful. And that happens every single time I have these thoughts. I am already afraid of feeling good about our marriage because it inevitably turns on me. The happier the thought, the worse the fight. It’s like somebody is asking me, “Do you still feel good, positive, and grateful when things are not as peachy?”
Just yesterday I mentioned to a friend that I no longer feel the anxiety I felt about six months ago, and guess what – it’s rearing its ugly head once again, only for a different reason.
Maybe, all of it has nothing to do with my thoughts. Maybe, hubby and I just fight too much, and I am anxiety-ridden emotionally unbalanced woman, and the happy thoughts I am having are so rare, that from the statistical point of view these events (happy thoughts and bad things) are bound to coincide. And maybe I am right, and somehow there is a correlation, so no happy thoughts for a while…
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