Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dear Jim letter and the various shades of blue

Dear Jim,

I guess after all that waiting, it just might not work. I am sad, are you?

The first time I lay eyes on you, I was about eighteen in the waiting room of my orthodontist. Quite frankly, you were not my type then. Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, even the The Mask were not my cup of tea. So when during those long hours waiting to be seen by the doc, I picked up a magazine with your interview. I didn't think it would interest me. And it didn't. I was just mindlessly turning the pages until I saw this:

And everything between us changed. I suddenly saw your depth and was completely mesmerised. There was something about this picture that made me look, even stare. Until I got called for my appointment. When I came back, the magazine was gone, and so were you. But I remembered the picture.

Years went by, you matured and grew into "The Truman Show" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", among other things. And we finally totally clicked. However, in my mind you were always a guy from this picture. That's probably how I will always think of you.

But what does it have to do with my blog? A few weeks ago I promised to spruce it up. Naturally, I thought of you and your picture to be a more than worthy replacement of the picture I had before.

Can I tell you something? I never truly liked that baby. I posted his picture in haste when I couldn't find anything better. But this baby gave me creeps. He always looked cold and his skin had a blue tinge that made me wish to cover him with a blanket. Don't tell anyone, but I secretly dubbed him "the blue baby." So many times I wanted to replace him with something else, but inadvertently I cornered myself by selecting a baby: what kind of a heartless witch would replace a baby picture? So I patiently waited for the respectable amount of time to pass, so that I could finally put a picture that didn't make me run for a pair of warm socks every time I looked at it. I have waited for a year, Jim, a YEAR! before I took that picture down and replaced it with yours.

Unfortunately, some readers developed an attachment to that baby and ironically referred to you as the "blue dude." So what would you do if you were me? Would you bow down to the pressure of the masses or would you stand your ground? I tried reaching you, but you wouldn't answer me. (I blame Jenny.) So here's what I decided. I will take the decision out of my hands, and let the people vote on it. I (not so) secretly hope you win though.

Your truly,

Subjugated Wife.


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