Sunday, November 30, 2008

It took me 30 years to figure this out

How come no plates/cards/balloons say "Go wise at 30?"

I just looked over my top ten confessions, and realized that at least one is outdated. Since October, I am no longer fast approaching thirty, I am quickly moving away from it toward even a greater number. Oh well. One day I will spruce up the blog, update some quotes, etc, insert new links for favorite posts, but not today. Today I will dedicate this post to turning thirty, becoming wiser (oh, shut up, miracles do happen) and things I have learned between turning 20 and now. No matter how much I tried to make this post funny, I couldn't. For some reasons most findings were either sad or depressing. I am either in a bad mood or was a hopeless optimist in my teens. Or maybe a bit of both...

So this is what I learned/discovered in the past 10 years, in no particular order:

About People
1. People who are very sensitive are usually the ones who are rather oblivious to sensitivities and needs of others. On the one hand, as my friend had put this when I shared my "discovery" - duh, on the other hand, not so obvious.

2. People can change. Whether they do or whether they change for the better is something that will require another ten years to figure out.

3. Not everyone possesses conscience. This one was a biggie and still scares me to no end.

4. Many people don't give the meaning of life, their values or anything else not pertaining to their daily life any or a lot of thought. This was another shocker.

About Myself
1. It's not as easy to be brave or speak up after becoming a parent. What seemed like a cowardly behavior in pre-parenting days starts looking more and more like a responsible thing to do.

2. I am not as smart/funny/a lot of other things as I thought.

3. I have learned to be more forgiving of myself. I also never had as many moments filled with self-loathing. It somehow is not contradictory.

4. Must learn to trust my intuition.

5. I must learn to shut up. Before I say too much.

6. I have an obsession with number 10. No matter how hard I try, most of my lists end up containing 10 points or a number divisible by 10. Even if I don't pre-number the points. What's up with that?

7. I would still prefer to trust people and get disappointed once in a while than trust no one to avoid heart break. Only now I say this with less conviction.

About Life in General
1. Achievement of any kind takes a lot of hard work. I know, we've been told that on many occasions in schools, colleges, books... But it really takes a LOT of HARD WORK. Like a LOT.

2. Not every fight is worth fighting. Not every picked fight is worth finishing.

3. Being right is pleasant, but overrated.

4. Life will never be fair to women. (On a purely superficial level only. I am not talking big scale fair - like is G-d fair, or something like this.)

5. Accounting doesn't have to be, but most often is boring.

6. This one is probably a cliche, but I will say it any way. The more I think I understand the world around me, the faster I am proven that I understood nothing... So the longer I live, the less things make sense to me. Not very encouraging.

Maybe the next decade will make me wiser.

P.S. If you don't mind sharing, what were the big discoveries of your 20s?


  1. I'm too far out of my '20s to share what wisdom I gained by age 30. But I agree with all of your lists. :=) From the look of things, you're definitely getting wiser!

    In general, I find that as I get older, I appreciate more readily the gray areas in life. Whereas previously the world could be viewed in terms of simple, interrelated categories, now the lines of what was previously clear-cut have blurred.

  2. This may take some further explanation, but my latest discovery is that no changes in daily life actually need to take place for a person to be happy. Only changes in thought.
    We take life and the people we love most for granted every day but neither will be around forever.
    It is very unfortunate that this realization came as a result of a very young mother/classmate of mine passing away.
    Life is a gift. We can choose to appreciate it.

  3. You are very wise Sub-wifi! It took me 50 years to learn some of those. #1 of category "About People" is so true, and to tell you the truth, I had not realized that. There is a face coming to mind as I type. Oh boy, she is a case.

    I just noticed that you became a follower of my blog. I am honored that such a wise saga should follow me.

    Stay Tooned!

  4. To everyone who commented,

    thanks for the compliments and thank you for sharing.


    I am sorry for your loss.

  5. С днем старения ;-)
    Welcome to the old farts club.

    1. So true.
    2. I try to change for the worse, it's more fun that way, at least for me. ;-)

    2. That's cause you care about what other people think. Stop it.
    7. I stopped asking people to help me build sukka, they always show up an hour late with excuses. Stopped relying on people being on time in general.

    2. Not unless it's fun.
    3. Yep, especially when you're always right. Becomes boring after a while.
    5. And this is why I hate it whenever Jews are portrayed as accountants.

  6. Moshe,

    LOL re: club. Yeah, I am card-carrying member now.


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