I want to paint the world in...(stay tuned for the answer)

Have you noticed how food prices had gone up? Take, for example, yogurt. A cup that used to cost $.59 and could've been easily bought on sale at 2 for $1 only two years ago, went up to $.79 a year ago, now costs $1.09 and never goes on sale! Crazy! And my kids love yogurt, so I feel I should buy it regardless of price... Sigh...

Also, did you notice how hard it is to find a fitting punishment for kids? Many times taking away privileges from kids feels like punishment for their parents. Also, I think it would be hard for a kid to connect not getting to see his favorite cartoon or ice cream and his bad behavior a day before, making the learning from his punishment nearly worthless.

Well, today I was still sleeping when SubHub left for synagogue. I guess kids got up with him. I wasn't sure what time it was when my little boy came over to my bed and proudly announced that he was naked. Oh great, I thought. Now I have to get up and put on a diaper. Another minute, I thought, and offered him to come under my blanket. He started climbing into my bed, and I offered to help him . My hand touched his naked buttocks and slipped on something creamy. My state of haze and dreaminess was gone in a second.

"What is it?" I shrieked asked. Feeling that he was getting in trouble, DS started running away and ran into the kids' room. There I saw their mess art in its full glory. The entire CARPETED floor was covered in that same white substance that I discovered on DS's butt. In sunlight I saw that the substance was on his back, hands as well as in his hair. Then I saw open cups of yogurt scattered on the floor. Preliminary count was 6. Great, six cups of yogurt down the drain! AND have to somehow scraped off the carpet on Sabbath.

I am proud to say I almost didn't yell. At the beginning. I decided to do something more evil. Firstly, I had to wash DS's butt and hair in cool water since hot wasn't available. He didn't mind much since it is now summer and the water is never really cold. Afterwards, I told DD that I would not clean up the mess. I would let daddy take care of it. You should've looked at that kid! (I dare anyone say that those little ones don't understand that they have done something wrong!) She got hysterical. She DEMANDED that I started cleaning their room, RIGHT AWAY! And then she cried and cried all the while repeating I WANT YOU TO CLEAN MY ROOM. I decided to go in again to reassess the damage. Dirty carpet. Dirty pajamas, both his and hers. DD's bedding was partially covered in yogurt as well. A doll's dress lying in the pool of yogurt had to be thrown out. Basically, everything in the room was somehow touched by the sweet sticky substance and smelled of artificial vanilla. And then I saw something that made me lose my cool... I saw my new black dressy bought-only-two-days-ago-and-never-worn-yet shoes in their room, defiled by yogurt as if they were some old pair of stinky slippers...

For those who don't know this little fact about me - I am picky about shoes. I don't like flats and can't wear very high heel. I also don't wear open-toe shoes and am very particular about their shape. Long story short, I am not picky about many things, but my shoes have to be almost perfect just to consider looking at them in the store. Well, it only took me two months of intense searching to finally find nice enough summer shoes to wear to the wedding on Wednesday. Now these shoes were lying in the middle of mess covered in something sweet and sticky. I am not above admitting that I carried the shoes around the house while cuddling them cried. I am still not sure if I will be able to get the yogurt out since the shoes are not made out of leather, and those were the last pair in my size. When I finally calmed down, I decided it wasn't fair for SubHub to walk into this mess, so I cleaned up as much as I could. In the process I discovered that not six, but nine cups of yogurt were destroyed. (I also found a package of smoked fish later in the day in their room, which had started going bad lying in a warm room all day long. I am only happy that I found it that day, and not two days later.) The kids had to be punished. They were not to get any Sabbath treats that day, and they wouldn't get any toys for one month due to the damage they caused. I only found out how good my punishment was when SubHub came home, and it turned out that he promised to buy DD some toy on Sunday.

I am not above admitting that I went (deep down inside and quietly): GOTCHA!

And the answer to the title line is of course... YOGURT. The only thing left to find out is what the heck they were doing with all that yogurt and why. I am really curious. But so far neither I nor SubHub were able to get an answer. I know that the truth is out there, but I resolved myself to the possibility that we might never find it...