Wednesday, June 4, 2008

12 things I hate about you

I am the first one to admit that I dislike summer. I didn't dislike summer before I came to New York, but here the minute winter is over, the temperatures get into high 80s within days, making spring virtually non existent. So here are some of the reasons why I dislike NY summer:

12. It is harder to hide extra weight in light summer clothes. Also, finding modest summer clothing that doesn't suffocate the wearer. requires all the skills of Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple combined.

11. Flip flops, everywhere. I don't know why, but they are annoying.

10. Allergies

9. Heat

8. Bill for electricity, double the usual amount due to constantly running air conditioners. For some reason I don't mind the extra expense of ice cream consumption. I wonder why...

7. The music from the ice cream truck!!!

6. Inevitable arguments in the middle of the night, "I want to raise the temperature, I am cold", "But I am hot as is!" "But I am REALLY cold and can't sleep" "Well, get a blanket" "I already have a blanket!" "Then take the winter blanket!!" "Don't you think the temperature is too low if I have to use WINTER blanket in the middle of the SUMMER?!!!. There is a reason why they call it a WINTER BLANKET!!!!!" Not really conducive to the marital harmony. Makes cold winters look really romantic, when one's natural inclination is to cozy up to the significant other...

5. Cooking in the hot kitchen.

4. Having to figure out ways to warm up the food on Shabbat without melting itsconnoisseurs.

3. Ants. Everywhere. Literally. Having to check EVERYTHING in the kitchen for the presence of their little bodies. Even salt. Ewww. Also reminds me of the ant story in Hundred Years of Solitude, bringing back unusually strong desire to strangle the author and hug my children all at once.

2. Mosquitoes, bees, beetles and all other insects that are unusually active during summers.

1. Taking subway. If anyone had ever taken a subway on 34th or particularly 42nd St in Manhattan in the middle of the scorching heat wave, they would know what I am talking about: temperatures that is 10-15 degrees higher than on the surface, terrible smells of subway, hardly pleasant in the chilly weather, intensified tenfold during the summer, gasping for every breath; need I go on? Those who believe in the flames of hell should try it - a very good deterrent against sinning...

1 comment:

  1. ROFL! By the way, I am one of agents of frustration: at any given time, I have at least 2 pairs of flip flops:)


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