Friday, December 30, 2011

Where I admit to being a musical Grinch

I think my relationship with jazz music has been well documented on this blog.  I don't like, at all, in any way, shape, or form, period.  The only music I dislike as much as jazz is Christmas themed music. Unlike jazz, I do not object to Christmas music out of my musical sensitivities.  On the contrary, it all begins rather lively and teeth-grinding-free around Halloween, when every station in the nation (even those who only yesterday were advocating to "Tie Your Mother Down" and taking a "Highway to Hell") starts playing Christmas music.  However, at some point in early November I realize that I am listening to the same 10 songs again and again, day in and day out, and that's how it's going to be until December 26th.  And it looks like it simply cannot get worse, musically-wise.   Seriously, folks.  It has nothing to do with religious intolerance on my part because if I had to listen to my the Best of Queen album all day long for two months, I would most likely develop a strong dislike for classical rock.  (No, that's blasphemy and will never happen, but you get the point.)

Well, remember how only in the last paragraph I said that things couldn't get any worse, and of course I was wrong?  Well, it was also well documented that I have a cubicle neighbor with a penchant for jazz.  I don't think I have ever heard him play Christmas songs.  And now, after months and months of torturing me with Norah Jones and the like, he decided to try something new and tuned into one of those stations that play nothing but those ten Christmas songs.  Only there was a different spin on them.  They all sounded jazzy, i.e. incredibly sad and depressing. Why did the singers sound so sad if "it's the best time of the year"?   Even Jingle Bells sounded like a story of two forlorn lovers separated by cruel fate.  Yes, this was as bad as it gets.

I have been waiting for December 26th this year like I have never been waiting for it before. It meant the end of musical torture and the beginning of auditory freedom. I hoped and waited only to be laughed at by cruel fate and radio DJs.  Folks, it is now December 29th, and Christmas songs are still playing almost nonstop in my neighbor's cube.  Is there an end in sight?  Only time will tell.  Yet I learned another valuable lesson:  it could always get worse.

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