Tuesday, June 8, 2010

More of that jazz

About six months ago I've made a huge mistake. No, I did not develop a crush on Will Arnett. What would give you that idea? (Will, if you are reading this, leave a comment!) I had done something much, much dumber. In a casual conversation with a co-worker, who happens to be my cubicle neighbor, I have mentioned how much I hate listening to jazz, especially the one featuring female singers who are sadder than the sight of a terminally sick puppy and life without love combined. (Norah Jones, I know you are reading this and sweetie, I just cannot reciprocate your adoration for my talent. Nothing personal, but the year you won Grammy was one of the musically hardest for me.) Anyhow...

Guess what? Any office drone with a few months of work experience and an ounce of common sense knows what happens next. Almost immediately the guy starts listening to jazz. Featuring women who lost their will to live, but not their desire to whine sing about it. Nonstop. All day long. Very loud. Whine, whine, whine. Making me lose the ability to form full sentences.

However, I strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. To combat this auditory assault, I listen to my iPod, which has music on it only due to SubHub's kindheartedness and faulty earphones Due to the incredible laziness circumstances beyond my control I just can't ever find time to load anything on my iPod other than a few parenting lectures. At some point in the past, SubHub discovered the sad state of my iPod and took pity on me loading several Sting albums. (Sting, if you are reading this call Will Arnett, I've heard he's a huge fan!) SubHub also swiped my earphones in the process, but who's counting, right? So now, every time my musical nemesis turns up his volume, I take my iPod out and - miracle of miracles - my heart immediately fills with love for my husband. Who knew torture could be good for marriage? (Masochists, don't answer that.)

This stronger bond with SubHub, though, does not deter me from endlessly Googling "how to sabotage HP speakers without getting discovered."


Now this is the jazz I can listen to!


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Very funny post. Dilbert should be taking notes... I can see the music war cartoons now. Female whiny Jazz is pretty bad. I work with children's music, and I hate bad children's music. Most children's music is pretty bad.

  3. Take a paper clip, unbend it and poke it through the holes on the front.

  4. @MIC, thanks for visiting my blog!
    @Moshe, it's a possibility I definitely will consider.

  5. I also "don't" have a crush on the utterly adorable, sexy-voiced Will Arnett. :-)


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