Monday, November 12, 2007

I am the Rock

There are few things in life I dislike as much as professional wrestling. I find everything about it either dumb or revolting: larger than life characters, steroids, and, of course, the appeal to the smallest common denominator. Even the name "wrestling" is a misnomer. Some call it soap operas for men. Well, I have a problem with men who like soap operas, sue me! I plan to pass on this attitude onto my children. I should say planned.

Thursday night. Everyone is exhausted. The kids' day is coming to the end, and they have nothing to lose by behaving like wild animals. My night, the busiest night of the week, is only starting. The kids are playing their favorite (and wildest, no coincidence here) game: they take turns climbing on the windowsill and then jumping off it on my bed. I am tired of begging, yelling, threatening, etc for them stop and put on their pj's. I am currently folding laundry in hopes that at least one of them will wear himself out, so that I have to tackle only one toddler. At some point the game is modified, and the kid whose turn is to climb on the windowsill is no longer waiting for the other one to get up. So far no one jumped on any body parts, but I know that it is only a matter of time. I give a warning, and they calm down a bit. Two minutes later the baby is completely exhausted, and cannot get up any more. He is lying face down on my bed, motionless and quiet, his arms and legs spread out, looking like a little star from the top. I love the view, and take a few moments to enjoy it before attacking him head on with a fresh diaper and pj's.
That's when his sister decides to try her luck in professional wrestling and jumps right on top of him. I don't know what's wrong with these kids, but they both found it immensely entertaining. Needless to say, my daughter got punished, and I got a shock of my life because what my precious, gentle, sweet little girl did looked EXACTLY like WWF commercials: it was extremely dumb, unsafe, and ugly to look at. But at least it was unscripted and for real. Oh, and no steroids...

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