Dear DD and DS,
Do not enter this room between the hours of 11 pm and 7 am.
I MEAN IT.
The only reason to come in is a true emergency. THE WAY YOUR FATHER AND I DEFINE IT. If in doubt whether your request constitutes an emergency, please consult the following chart:
I can't find my doll/stuffed dog. Sad, I know, even border-line tragic. But this is not a true emergency. Turn around and go back to bed.
I fell out of bed. Obviously, if you made it from your room to ours, nothing's broken. This is not an emergency. Calm down, I'll kiss all the boo boos in the morning. Go back to bed.
Mommy, I am scared. Yeah, me too. Recession's not pretty. Go back to bed.
I am nauseous. So why are you wasting time going into my room? Run to the bathroom now. NOW!!! Finish reading this later. Done? Wanna puke some more? No? Good. This is no longer an emergency. Go back to bed.
I want to sleep with you. DS - proceed quietly and at your own risk. DD - you are a kicker and a restless sleeper. Turn around and go back to bed, YOUR bed.
Love you dearly
Mommy and Daddy.
Now go back to your bed.
Yeah, I am mean. I guess that's why they keep on coming back at ungodly hours...