Why was I there or Where was I when this happened, Part II

I thank all my three readers for suggestions on how to deal with DD's existential questions. I am sure your answers would've worked on any other toddler/preschooler (could someone please clarify to a non-native American what she is?), but you just don't know who you are dealing with. (Ok, some of you, especially those in possession of six kids, probably do.) DD is already a bit ticked off at the way she entered the world, so I must be particularly careful about introducing any new ideas. How so? At approximately the same time as we were viewing our wedding photos, DD saw pictures of herself right after being born. Among them were a few shots of the sonograms when I was pregnant with her.

DD: Mommy, what is this?
Me: These are your pictures when you were in mommy's tummy.
DD: I was in your tummy?
Me: Yes, when you were a very little baby.
DD: Why?
Me: Because you were very little. So G-d put you in mommy's tummy to protect you until you got bigger and stronger.
DD: I didn't like it.
Me: Huh?
DD: I didn't like it! Why did G-d put me in your tummy? I didn't want to go there! I didn't want to be in your tummy.
Me: But you are already out, so that doesn't really matter, does it?

Apparently, it does. She started crying and was inconsolable for quite some time. And I do have a sneaking suspicion that she might be right about not liking her in utero living arrangements because she made her appearance two weeks early. So that is why I will not introduce any new ideas into that four-year old head. She might just ask why she was stuck so long in Heaven when she desperately wanted to be with her Mommy. And I wouldn't know what to answer. Again. But once again, in all seriousness, your advice is very appreciated, and I will probably use it with DS, or someone a little less demanding and particular.

P.S. If she finds being stuck in the tummy distasteful, I wonder how she will take this whole sperm meeting egg and forming zygote thing.

P.P.S. I was starting to get a bit sympathetic to DD's plight of not being able to attend her parents' wedding, with time travel so far impossible and us being traditional and waiting to have kids until after getting married. And then she said, "Mommy, your white princess dress is too small for you, right? You grew out of it?" No sympathy any more. Go straight to bed, young lady. Not vindictive at all.

Where was I when this happened?

DD and I were looking at our wedding pictures. Nothing foreshadowed trouble. DD got very cute and bubbly and said, "Mommy, you looked like a princess!" All of a sudden, I hear a question, "Mama, where were DB (dear brother) and I?"
Me: (sensing serious trouble ahead) Um, you weren't born yet.
DD: We were home?
Me: No, honey, you weren't here yet.
DD: Why did you leave us home? I want to go there (i.e. our wedding).
Me: (pondering on how to explain the impossibility of time travel to a toddler - or is she pre-schooler already? - and the fact that there was a time when she didn't exist.) I don't think it's possible.
DD: Why didn't you take us with you?
Me: (lightbulb moment). We didn't leave you home. (She is skeptically nodding and saying ya-ha!) If we did, who babysat you? Grandpa and grandma were also here! And so were your aunt and uncle! And you see, two of your cousins are not in pictures either! That's because they weren't born yet, just like you!

DD was stumbled and left me alone for a while. Then SubHub came home, and she decided to try him.

DD: Papa, why did you and Mommy get married?
DH: (stumbled. Really, why?) Ummm....
Me: (coming to the rescue) so that Papa and I could have you and your brother. (whispering from the corner of my mouth to SubHub) and I'll talk to YOU later... (Then I retell him the conversation we had yesterday and that DD finds it hard to believe that we got married (or anything existed) before she was born.)
DH: yes, mommy and I are married for five years, you just turned four, and DS is two and a half. So you see, first we got married, and then you were born.
DD: Why did you get married first?
DH: (a bit exasperated) because if we did it in the opposite order, Daddy's rabbi would be very, very upset...

Somehow that resolved the issue, but I am sure we haven't heard the last of it. How do you explain to a 4-yr old (did I mention she turned four?) that there was time when she didn't exist? I think I am still wrestling with the concept...

You look nice from the back, honest

OMG! So much to write about, so little time. I have topics and ideas, but no way to actualize them. But sometimes an event of enormous magnitude comes along when one must throw caution, considerations of time and efficiency and all such matters away, and simply blog. That sort of event happened today. Life, at least professional life, will never be the same. And I have a responsibility to bring this to public attention, well at least to those three people who occasionally read my blog.

I have this uncanny ability to channel out life around me. I walk to our super-duper new printer, for a water refill, or simply take a short stroll around the office, and on the way to my destination I completely zone out. Until something catches my attention. Today that destination was lady's bathroom. On the way there, however, I had to pass men's bathroom. The genius who designed it made a little quirk in the layout. Every time the door opens, the person passing by sees the back of every single man standing at the urinals. So today on my way to the bathroom, the door opened, and who do I see attending to his call of nature? Our esteemed CFO. I must've definitely made a grimace of pain and horror as I looked away ... only to come face to face with the CFO's #1 (the boss of my boss's boss). He saw the face that I made and must've thought, "What the heck had she seen there? And was it really that disgusting?"

Truth is, I saw nothing but the number of fully clothed male backs; however, that was enough. I have complained to our facilities head, but he said that I am the only one to complain about the men's bathroom layout. Which brings me to several suspicions.

1. My male co-workers are exhibitionists.
2. My female co-workers are voyeurs.
2. The head of the facilities thinks I am a peeping Tom, was caught by someone in the act and to look innocent concocted the story about faulty layout. BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HAD COMPLAINED. EVER.
4. These things happen to me on a regular basis, and they happen only to me.
5. Why, G-d, why????

Which reminds me about another bathroom story, but that's for another time.

I am a woman, hear me roar

Finally, I got the blogging fever back. Once again, so much to write about, so little time! I have topics in various areas: from kids' latest antics to politics (yes, politics) to fat entertainers. What shall it be today? Hmmm....

I guess politics. I know I promised to stay away from the topic, but some things just need to be said.

Call me any name you want, but I was relieved when Hillary left the race. The main reason was not because I very much dislike the woman, but because I finally could get a break from stupid polls and election coverage that were centered around female voters. Again, I am not opposed to women voters getting special coverage. On the contrary, we make up around 50% of voters, so if Hispanic and black voters get special coverage, so should we. What I didn't appreciate was media's assumption that we,women, are so fed up with government predominantly made up of males, that we have been waiting for a fellow female so long to lead us and the rest of the country that we would vote for any woman as long as she is a woman. I was getting so annoyed with the coverage of Southern states during democratic primaries - how will the black women in those states vote? special report from a beauty salon - that I stopped following for a while.

I find this attitude extremely insulting. Look at the Democratic primaries with the whole business of Obama vs. Clinton. The assumptions made by media were very clear: we need not concern ourselves with white males because they are all Republicans any way. White women will vote for Hillary - but of course! She is a woman, and that makes her a worthy enough candidate for anyone missing Y chromosome! Black males and minorities will of course support Obama (for the same reason women would support Hillary). So the only people who will have to make any tough decisions were black women - on the one hand women, on the other hand black. What would they do? Should they consult their hairdresser? How insulting is this? And how dumb?

Then Hillary was out of the race, and for a few months we were not exposed to this stupidity. Then again, McCain had to pick Sarah Palin, and the whole thing started all over again. Over and over I see CNN articles with titles about women of Alaska being divided over Palin's nomination, women this, women that. What about males, after all they make up another 50% of the voters, for goodness sake! And believe it or not, some women actually CAN see past the candidate's gender. I know, un-freaking-believable, women actually have brains, not only vag-----s. Who would've thought?

And honestly, I have seen a lot stronger reactions from men than from women to Palin becoming McCain's running mate. The reactions were different, from intelligent ("I can't believe he picked someone with no real experience") to dumb ("That was such a low blow to Democrats") to completely asinine ("It would be so cool to have a hot VP") . But honestly, in my experience men were a lot more vocal. So why don't they get a special coverage too? Or does having a Y chromosome makes one ineligible for anything special? Because honestly, that would be sexist, right?